Is Transphobia still a thing for you?
This questions happens to be asked like three times the week and I am so sick of hearing it. The longer I am on hormones the less you can see I was born a girl; and in my experience people do not recognize on the first glance that I am trans* – also not on the second. Only when I tell them because I have this feeling I would lie to them if I’d say nothing on this topic.
„I am Transgender.“
I got very different reactions on Coming Outs. From „Cool“, to ignorance, to complete lack of understanding.
Recently I am trying not to tell people I met after my change about me being trans* but the most of them find out after some time. But they aren’t the problem:
People I know from the ‚Before‘ are messing up the pronouns very often, and end up in a messy sentence: „He … uhm … she … arg … his … whatever.“ But in fact I am not a ‚Whatever‘, I am a person and I have feelings. Today I spoke to someone who does this all the time and I said: „To prevent such situations in future just say he.“, and then I left the room. I hope it was impressive – I was really mad at him.
Even when some people will say now: „This is not transphobia, it is the normal messy phase while remember the person with different pronouns and names.“ Seriously, I am out of the damn closet for nearly three years now and especially from people who see me everyday I expect a bit more „effort“. So, YES, this kind of ignorance counts as Transphobia.
The hate doesn’t have to be hate in first place, but sometimes ignorance is more harmful than open bullying.
Be careful what you say about Trans*-people because the most of us have a very special and often sad past, but please be not afraid of asking us something (except the Trans*person told you to stop asking)!